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Submit your EmailWELCOME TO THE 21TH CENTURY!!!
Our Phones ~ Wireless
Cooking ~ Fireless
Cars ~ Keyless
Food ~ Fatless
Dress ~ Sleeveless Youth ~ Jobless
Leaders ~ Shameless
Relationships ~ Meaningless
Atitude ~ Careless
Wives ~ Fearless
Babies ~ Fatherless Feelings ~ Heartless
Education ~ Valueless
Children ~ Mannerless
Women ~ Pantieless
Everything is becoming LESS but still our
hopes are ~ Endless. Infact am ~ Speechless
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Akpos won a lottery of 10 million dollars, after claiming the money, he buried the cash at the foot of a tree, and took a picture of the tree.
He then boarded a flight to London, on the plane feeling good about himself he looked at the photo and suddenly he burst into tears.
In his hands was the photo, in it there was a man smiling at the top of the tree.
If you were Akpos, what would you do?
The following conversation ensued between Akpos and his father:
Father: Akpos, how was your exams today?
Akpos: It was very difficult so I didn’t even go to the exams center.
Father: Ah! If you didn’t go there, how do you know that it was difficult?
Akpos: I saw the questions yesterday.
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Jonathan met with the Queen of England.
He asked her:
JONATHAN: How do you run such an efficient government? Are there any tips u can give to me? I want to help Nigeria.
“Well,” said the Queen, “the most important thing is to surround yourself with intelligent people.”
Jonathan frowned, and then asked,”But how do i know the people around me are really intelligent?”
The Queen replied, “Oh, that’s easy, you just ask them to answer an intelligent riddle.
The Queen pushed a button on her intercom. “Please send David Cameron in here, would you?”
David Cameron walked into the room and said,”Yes, your majesty?”
The Queen smiled and said,”Answer this riddle. David, your mother and father have a child, it is not your brother and it is not your sister. Who is it? “Without pausing for a minute David Cameron answered,”that would be me.” Yes, very good,”said the Queen.
Jonathan went back home to ask his Vice President Sambo
JONATHAN: Answer this. Your mother and your father have a child, it’s not your brother and it’s not your sister, who is it?
SAMBO:.”I’m not sure, let me get back to you.”
He asked all his staff in the Office but none could give him an answer. Finally, one day, VP Sambo ran into Dora Akunyili.
Sambo asked, Dora,
SAMBO: Your mother and father have a child and it’s not your brother or sister,who is it?”
Dora answered sharply, “That’s easy, its me!” Sambo smiled,and said “Thanks!”
Then he went back to speak with President Jonathan.
Sambo: Sir, I have the answer to that riddle, It’s Dora Akunyili!
Jonathan got angry,he said to Sambo. “No wonder Nigeria isn’t moving forward, I am Surrounded by Dummies.! The answer is David Cameron!”
WHO IS MORE INTELLIGENT?
Akpos’ young daughter in her teens got pregnant. Akpos was so furious.
He asked her who was responsible for the pregnancy and she said told him a rich famous chief.
Akpos called the chief over to the house and they sat down to discuss the matter.
Akpos: Chief, I heard you are responsible for my daughter’s pregnancy. What rubbish have you done?
Chief: You are right, that is true, let me add this, if she gives birth to a male child, I will give you 5 million naira with a furnished flat. If she gives birth to a female child, I will give you 2 million naira and a bungalow. If she gives birth to twins, I will give you 10 million naira with a duplex but if she gets a miscarriage-
Akpos: [interrupts] You will have to sleep with her again!
Akpos and Esther were to get married in one week.
Two days to their wedding, Esther decides to stay in Akpos’s house. In the middle of the night, Akpos got aroused and started touching Esther’s breasts.
Esther got angry and told Akpos to stop saying, “My body is the temple of the lord.”
And just when she thought it was over, Akpos answered saying, “Then let me worship there.”
Akpos’s wife was busy singing in the bedroom.
The following conversation ensued:
Akpos: You know my dear, when you sing like that I just wish you were on a radio.
Wife: (smiling) wow honey. Am I that good?
Akpos: No, at least on a radio I can change the station…
A blonde woman, a priest, a pilot, and a high schooler are all on a crashing plane. There are only enough parachutes to save three of them, and the pilot is the first to jump out. He grabs a parachute and says, "I'm a pilot! People need me to fly planes!" and then jumps out. The blonde is next to jump out. She grabs a parachute and says, "My hair won't look pretty if I'm dead!" and then jumps out. The priest then says to the high schooler, "Son, I've lived my life to its fullest and I am surely ready to join God in heaven." The high schooler then hands a parachute to the priest and puts another parachute on himself. The priest is shocked and asks the high schooler, "Oh Lord! Where did you find this extra parachute?" The high schooler replies, "The blonde lady took my backpack!"
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