Joke of the day: NCC evening lecture – how ladies and women evaluate their men (Point-Based)

Joke of the day

NOW, TAKE YOUR SEATS AND LETS COMMENCE THE LECTURE..

WANNA LECTURE YOU ON SIMPLE DUTIES, How ladies evaluate their men based on activities… Enjoy..

SIMPLE DUTIES
~ You make the bed (+1)
~ You make the bed, but forget the decorative pillow (0)
~ You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets (-1)
~ You go out to buy her what she wants (+5)
~ …In the rain (+8)
~ …But return with Beer (-5)
~ You check out a suspicious noise at night (0)
~ You check out a suspicious noise, and it is nothing (0)
~ You check out a suspicious noise and it is something (+5)
~ You pummel it with iron rod (+10)
~ It’s her pet (-50)
SOCIAL ENGAGEMENTS
~ You stay by her side the entire party (0)
~ You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college buddy (-2)
~ Named Tina (-4)
~ Tina is a dancer (-10)
HER BIRTHDAY
~ You take her out to dinner (0)
~ You take her out to dinner and it’s not a sports bar (+1)
~ Okay, it’s a sports bar (-2)
~ And it’s all-you-can- eat night (-3)
~ It’s a sports bar, it’s all-you-can- eat night, and your face is painted the colors of your favorite football club (-10)
A NIGHT OUT
~ You take her to a movie (+2)
~ You take her to a movie she likes (+4)
~ You take her to a movie you hate (+6)
~ You take her to a movie you like (-2)
~ It’s called ‘Death Cop’ (-3)
~ You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans (-15)
YOUR PHYSIQUE
~ You develop a noticeable potbelly (-15)
~ You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it (+10)
~ You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to baggy jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts (-30)
~You say, “It doesn’t matter, you have one too.” (-8000)
THE ‘BIG’ QUESTION
~ She asks, “Do I look fat?” (-5) [Yes, you LOSE points no matter WHAT]
~ You hesitate in responding (-10)
~ You reply, “Where?” (-35)
~ Any other response (-20)
COMMUNICATION
~ When she wants to talk about a problem , you listen displaying what looks like a concerned expression (0)
~ You listen, for over 30 minutes (+50)
~ You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV (+500)
~ She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep with your eyes open (-10000)